I'd prefer not to be rescued

Life is unpredictable, and even the worst things happen to the best people.

It is never too late to forgive, to change, to apologize, to learn, to move on, and most importantly, to love…

2011, it’s been one hell of a year.

I woke up this morning in my queen sized bed with warm flannel sheets, with my doggy by my feet. I didn’t have an alarm set, didn’t have classes to attend, and didn’t have to climb down from the top bunk. My mom walked in and we reminisced about my childhood and laughed over my weird habits. Now I’m just being lazy, listening to slow jams, updating my tumblr…still in my bed :)

Being away from my family and the comforts of home have made me realize how incredibly lucky I am. Not everyone has a supportive, loving, complete family like I do. My mom and dad work their asses off, and every decision they make is for the benefit of my brother and me. I used to hate how they’d point out areas in my life that needed improvement, but I realize that I am the person I am now because of it. I’m lucky to have incredible friends who are ambitious, smart, unique, and doing great things with their lives. They are all at their respective universities, working towards different degrees, but potentially doing something big in the future.

I’m grateful for my health. On Fridays, I help disabled people stretch out and improve their health by helping them get into yoga positions. Most of these people have multiple sclerosis, which means they’re in a wheelchair most of the day. It pains me to see how helpless these people are, some can’t even perform the most basic moves. Like walking. I think too many of us take health for granted, to be born healthy is a beautiful thing. 

Lastly, I’m grateful for the bright future ahead of me. Life is full of opportunities, it is up to us to seek them out. I’m grateful I attend university in one of the most lively, eccentric cities. I’m grateful for the Berkeley education, an education that goes beyond the classroom. My professors are amazing, my colleagues are amazing, and San Francisco is just a BART ride away.

Another lengthy post again, but today is the day to express thanks! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Today I was sitting in Wheeler Hall listening to my professor talk…inevitably dozing off into my own world.

Then I realized that I wanted to travel to India.

Something about Indian culture just fascinates me. The bright colors, incense, elephants, Taj Mahal, large families, henna, yoga, saris, Bollywood, naan, I JUST FREAKING LOVE EVERYTHING INDIAN. Now I understand why people take gap years. The concept of gap years is slowly becoming less foreign to me, but if you had asked me in high school if I would ever consider taking a year off after my senior year, I would say “HELL no! I wanna go to college and graduate in 4 years so I can get a job and live a comfortable lifestyle!” Something inside me still feels that way, but something else also tells me that that’s not what life is about. I feel like I’ve grown up in an environment where money means success. My parents immigrated from Taiwan about 20 years ago not knowing the language and not having any college education. After many many trials and tribulations, they finally were able to start their own business and eventually send me to college. My parents learned the hard way that without a college degree, finding a good paying job is nearly impossible. Thus, they’ve have engrained in my head that I must focus on academics to go to prestigious university, graduate, and work a high paying job. I appreciate their wisdom, and I agree wholeheartedly that higher learning is extremely important in today’s society. But I also believe that there is more to life than your salary. Isn’t the meaning of life self-improvement, self-discovery, and selflessness?

I’m seriously considering spending my summer in a third world country so I can better myself through helping others, but the problem is, I also had planned to spend my summer taking classes at Berkeley while working in San Francisco. Traveling is obviously more worth it in the end, but if I want any chance of getting into Haas, I need to take Economics and start an internship. You know what’s wrong with Haas? The fact that your GPA is 50% of the application process. I seriously find that so ridiculous. How can a number determine how well you’d do in the business world? In my opinion, I would rather work with a fast learner that does works well in groups, is a resourceful problem solver, and a good listener, than work with a smartass who thinks he already knows it all. I don’t want Haas to stop me from traveling and doing what I want, but at the same time- I need to get into Haas to form the networks and connections I need to eventually have the means and ability to fulfill all of my life goals. Reality is scary, and the older I get, the more I realize it.”

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
― Mae West

It all started when Mario Savio, a student at Cal, got on top of a police car and addressed the crowd during the Berkeley Free Speech movement in 1964. He challenged us not be “bought by some clients of the University, be they the government, be they industry, be they organized labor, be they anyone! We are human beings.”

His words resonate as here we are, 47 years later, on the steps of Lower Sproul- protesting, marching, practically crying out to have our voices heard. Today, hundreds of students, faculty, public education workers, supporters, and citizens, marched around campus chanting “Who’s University? OUR University!” This is Occupy Cal, and here at UC Berkeley, we don’t do anything small. With a week long of teach outs, strikes, news station reporters, helicopters, police officers, SWAT teams, and most recently, a shooting, Berkeley hasn’t faced such turmoil since 1964. Students have been beaten by police officers, over 30 individuals have been arrested, and we are left wondering, “What can we do now?”

The UC system was founded upon the principle that every qualified California resident deserved a college degree, that California as a STATE, would provide the means for its residents to have the opportunity to higher learning. UC TUITION USED TO BE FREE. We’re at a point where more out of state students are being accepted than in state. What’s worse is that we’re also at a point where most students cannot even afford tuition anymore. With the prospect of an 81% tuition increase within a 4 year span, it seems likely that pretty soon, no one will be able to afford tuition alone. How is it, that California, a state that is wealthier than some COUNTRIES, cannot afford to provide education to its people?

Of course we can look at this as situation with a “half glass empty” kind of attitude, or we can look at this situation as an opportunity to come together as an university, as a COMMUNITY, to make a difference and undo the wrong that has been committed to the UC system. Tonight, I was one of the thousands of attendees of the Mario Savio Memorial, and had the privilege of seeing Robert Reich, former Secretary of Labor under Bill Clinton and a current UC Berkeley professor, speak on the issue of social class warfare. The picture above was taken tonight. A passage in his speech really stuck out to me:

“We are not here to vilify the wealthy. We are here, not because of the existence of wealth, but rather the distribution of wealth is what seems to be the problem. When the top 400 richest people own more of America than the rest of the 150 million, our voice becomes lost and the power goes straight to the top. This undermines and corrupts our democracy. When that is done, what do we have left?”

I am here, as a student of UC Berkeley, as an activist, a believer, and as a part of 99%, to stand my ground and not become a product of political, financial machines. Berkeley has taught me to not be passive. Berkeley has taught me that opportunities are endless, but it is up to me to seek them out. Berkeley has taught me that the world is my playground. With the many speeches given tonight, the one below is my favorite. It is the words of a slam poet who’s name I can’t remember, but thank goodness for voice recorders.

“When hope comes back, he will be a worker in the farms of the valley. When hope comes back, he will be a black panther baby that speaks Spanglish and makes Korean tacos. When hope comes back he will be named Barack, but will not be named Obama. When hope comes back, he will be one my students, East Asia meets East Oakland. When hope comes back, he will actually be a she, but hey, that’s who actually gets shit done in the first place. She will be a librarian by day, a DJ by night, and a civil rights activist in between. She will become a UCPD officer who REFUSES TO FOLLOW ORDERS. When hope comes back, she will be here, on the streets of Berkeley, Wall Street, Cairo, all around the world.”

Burberry scarves, rain boots, riding boots, North Faces, Starbucks holiday cup, Christmas lights, Christmas shopping, fireplace, tinsel, hot chocolate, toffee, champagne, New Years Eve countdown, Chinese New Year, candles, turkey, family, pigs in a blanket, movie nights, board games, cuddling, rosy cheeks, snow, knit sweaters, Taylor Swift Christmas soundtrack, pumpkin spice latte, pie, bread…

OMG I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL WINTER TIME!!!

Thank you, Steve Jobs, for creating the technological world we live in today.

It’s been about a month since I’ve been here at Berkeley, and looking back at my previous posts, I was SO excited about leaving home and making a new life for myself. Now that I’m here, I can say that I wasn’t prepared for how difficult the transition would be. Yes, college is fun. Yes, the parties are like the ones on “American Pie.” Yes, you get to eat a shit ton of food at the dining commons, but at the same time, you don’t have your best friends to share the moment with, classes are 29492389 times harder, homework is stacked, and doing your own laundry isn’t so great either.

I think for the first 2 weeks of college, I cried every other night. At times I felt lonely because in the beginning, every conversation is shallow: what’s your major, where are you from, what sports do you play, etc. and some conversation are like that even now, but it’s this process of growing up and starting from scratch that makes you stronger and the “adult” that we’re all bound to become someday. I miss my parents, my best friends, my dog, my bed. But everyone goes through this at some point, and I really need to stop being such a baby about it. Besides the academic courseload and the fact that I know 20 people on a campus of 30,000, Berkeley is more than everything that I hoped for.

I love how it’s foggy in the mornings, but turns sunny in the afternoon.

I love laying out in Memorial Glade, and looking up to a blue sky and the beautiful Doe Library.

I love asian ghetto, and drinking boba at 1 am.

I love how brilliant my peers are.

I love how everyone is passionate about something, and is vocal about it.

I love how I’m taking a class called “Drugs and the Brain” and getting 3 units for it, typical Berkeley.

I love Telegraph, and the hippies that sell marijuana and do hair wraps at the same time.

I can go on and on about how I love this place. If there’s anything that I’ve learned while I’m here is that everything happens for a reason. I remember lamenting about being rejected from USC, and now I feel stupid because God had in store for me something better. I’m not saying Cal is better than USC, but it’s better for me. Some of the people I’ve met here I feel like I was destined to meet. You just click so well with people that have the same goals and passions about education and life as you do.